


Police Officer, Meet Five

by bippityboppityboom



Series: Society, Meet Five [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Middle School, My First Fanfic, School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29231721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bippityboppityboom/pseuds/bippityboppityboom
Summary: After coming back to 2021, Five gets coffee. A police officer thinks Five is skipping school. Five is in trouble.
Series: Society, Meet Five [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146524
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	1. In Which Five is Detained

A thud echoed on the mahogany tiles as the portal closed. Five's massive portrait glared back at them. They were home. They were finally home. Everyone gathered on the couch, leaving smudges of dirt everywhere. 

Luther shifted, "So what's the game plan?"

"This is boring. I'm going to change and get coffee." Five stood up and walked away. No one bothered to stop him. As he changed into another Umbrella Academy uniform and strolled out of the house, the sights of people and the clean, relatively polluted air struck him and he felt happiness, for the second time in 40 years. (After seeing his siblings of course, but he would never tell them that)

He found a small, severely understaffed but homey-looking coffeeshop and had a feeling he would be coming back soon. The doorbell jingled merrily as he opened the door. He queued behind a man in a business suit and unconsciously took note of the people sparsely scattered across the shop and their current positions. 

The place was adorned with numerous photo frames, with quotes from famous philosophers piled together with motivational quotes like 'Don't count the days, make the days count'. Five shuddered. The coffee shop also had squishy armchairs, which was a huge plus.

"Hi, can I take your order?" The young college-aged barista (or 'Cynthia', as her name tag stated) asked as he reached the counter.

"Coffee. Black." Five replied coolly. 

"What's your name?" 

"Five."

She looked entirely unconcerned about the fact that a lone boy of 13 years would be ordering coffee on his own, much less that his name would be Five, and immediately started making his order. 

As he sunk into a squishy armchair and waited for his drink, he noticed a dark-haired man of average height enter the coffee shop, wearing a plain black shirt and denim jeans. He started to order but Five observed him warily. The man shot Five glances before he entered the shop and Five was suspicious. As expected, when Five's name was called out and he collected his order, the man stopped him.

"Five, right?" Five shot daggers at him as he continued blabbering on, "Interesting name, did you choose the nickname yourself or did your parents do it?" 

"I don't have to tell you shit." Five spat. The man looked vaguely irritated but smoothed his features out.

"Why are you not in school?" Ah yes, that was the kicker. Five should have known, this was a plain-clothed police officer, his card was even sticking out of his pocket, revealing a police department crest. One hour into 2021 and he was already losing his touch. 

"Answer the question." Five frowned and kept his posture relaxed but inside he was panicking. "I'm from the Umbrella Academy, we stopped school years ago." The guy looked pretty pissed. 

He made Five go into his police car and to be honest, Five already had his coffee and was too unbothered to care. 

And that's how he ended up in the police station, sitting on a hard metal chair and using a borrowed phone to call Klaus of all people to explain to the police that he was not in fact, skipping school. 


	2. In Which Everyone Shits on Five's Opinion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus brings everyone to laugh at Five. Five is not happy with the decision made.

"Come to the police station right now."

"What? What happened-"

Five hung up.

Although Five glared daggers sharp enough to bring any man to tears, Klaus was entirely unbothered and carried on smiling dopily. With the rest of the siblings (excluding Allison, for some reason) obediently shuffling into the small office space. Five facepalmed. 

The policeman stared at the motley slew of people who had come at Five's call, dragging his eyes over Klaus' crop top and gingham skirt, Diego's dark ensemble and wig-like hair (thankfully he was smart enough to take off his knives holsters) and Luther's hulking figure blocking the entrance of the police station. He gulped anxiously and turned to Vanya, seemingly the safest option to talk to.

"So, Five, he said his name was? He's not in school right now, though he does seem to be wearing a school uniform, but he won't tell me the truth about which school he's from, says he's from the umbrella academy?" He shifted uncomfortably when he saw Klaus batting something away and muttering under his breath.

"Oh, yeah he uhh, he has a wild imagination, he got the uniform from Umbrella Academy merch, he's homeschooled actually, but he's a handful at times, running off to places by himself and the curriculum is getting harder to handle." 

"Oh well, I recommend sending him to a public school, there's one right in the neighbourhood, Lancester Middle School."

Wait what? He couldn't go to, to fucking middle school, he's a goddamn 58 year old man, he didn't want to spend his days with imbecillic middle-schoolers. Five's protests went unheard as his siblings discussed the process of signing him up for school. 

He stood up unseeingly as his siblings waved and walked him out of the police station. What has his life just become? 


	3. Aidan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five is named.

"Why did you tell them that? Can't you just tell them the truth so I don't have to go to school with those half-grown freaks? And why wasn't Allison invited to laugh at my predicament?" Five exploded after they left the station. 

"Come on Five, I thought you were smarter than this. If people find out that you're back, a big hoopla will be made and we'll all be famous again, wouldn't you rather not be pestered by the paps and crazy fans like Leonard. We thought this through before we came to fetch you. Aren't you proud of us?" Klaus grinned. Five stared stonily at the window, internally admitting that it was indeed a surprisingly smart move, probably Vanya who suggested it.

"It'll also be really suspicious if a kid like you didn't go to school, also it'll be nice to have an actually normal childhood." Diego gained a slightly wistful look as he drove them home. Five felt a hint of guilt that he would get another chance at life due to his accidental age regression that his siblings never would but remained quiet. 

When they reached the manor, Allison and Mom greeted them and the siblings updated them about the current circumstance Five was in (with snickering from Klaus, so much that Five wanted to stab his tongue to chunks) as Five scowled petulantly. 

"We have to prepare the details of who's gonna be registered as Five's parents and more importantly, what Five's name will be." Allison said. Five's scowl deepened, he didn't particularly want to have a shitty name like Nicky that the siblings would probably bestow upon him. 

"Mom, back when we were kids, what did you want to name Five?" (Five had let Vanya be named back then instead and insisted that he already had a name)

"Aidan. I wanted to name him Aidan." Mom said resolutely but smiled lovingly at Five. Five's scowl softened. "Aidan." He whispered reverently, it suited him. He felt something in him relax, like a door he never knew was there begin to open, something he was always meant to have. 

"Well, that's settled, who wants to be Five's other parent, I call daddy!" Klaus clapped his hands excitedly. 

Everyone stared at Vanya. She groaned. 

"No, let Diego do it or something, I'm literally lesbian, I can't act all lovey-dovey with Klaus. Or act, period." 

"Diego, my man!" Klaus slung an arm around Diego's neck, sidling up to him. 

"Well, guess it's settled then." Luther exclaimed brightly. 

The next day, Diego, Five and Klaus piled into Diego's car and went to Lancester Middle. Five was not looking forward to this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to all the Nickies out there, it was a reference to Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn in case you didn't know. Also I have no idea what Lancester is, it sounds like a typical American public school name though. Pls leave a comment on how you think I can improve. Hope you enjoy my fic! :D


	4. Principal, Meet Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five takes a test to determine which grade he will be put in. Five goes to a different school now.

At first glance, the school looked like any other building. (If the building was haphazardly-coloured) However, at closer proximity, one could conclude that the school was a dump. A veritable landfield of overcrowded children hoarded into classrooms the size of a garbage can, which it also resembled. (And smelt like)

Klaus basked in the misery of children as he skipped down the halls, his sneakers squeaking on the scratched linoleum tiles of Lancester Middle's hallways. Five couldn't believe that his siblings would despise him so much that they would send him off to hellhole. He wondered what he did that made them loathe him to the extent that they would commit this heinous act. After recounting for a few seconds, Five sighed. At least it was justified. 

After they had successfully located the principal's office, Diego politely knocked on the door and opened it when he heard a faint "come in". Their siblings had obviously run through this step by step at home since neither Diego, Klaus nor Five knew basic courtesy. 

Five was once again, wearing his uniform as they didn't have time to buy him new clothes but they forced Diego to wear a light gray shirt and Klaus to wear the suit that he wore when acting as Five's father back at Meritech Prosthetics. 

"Please, do take a seat." A portly lady seated at a wooden desk gestured to some faux leather seats in front of her. "How may I help you?" Her face was lined with laughter lines and a smile played lightly at her lips. Five settled a little.

"We would like to register my son here, he's been homeschooled before and we want him to spend more time with people his age." Five turned to glare at Klaus, but realised the principal was talking and quickly turned back in to the conversation. 

"-see how he fares with the material first before deciding which grade he is put in, but first, please fill up the registration form." She said as she placed an official-looking document and a pen in front of them.

Name: Aidan "Five" Hargreeves

Past Schooling: Homeschooled

Parent(s) / Guardian: Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves 

Reason for switch in school / joining this school: To get Five to socialise with his peers.

Diego and Klaus both wrote their phone numbers in as well. 

"Ok, now that's settled, when do you want him to take the test and start school?" The principal inquired.

"I can take the test now." Five said decisively. 

"He can start school tomorrow." Diego said with a polite smile. 

"Ok sure! I'll call for a teacher to invigilate the test in an empty classroom. You may go along with him, of course."

Soon enough, the test began. Five, of course, did it with ease. How could he not, considering he depended on maths to calculate time travel, which was no small feat. He could do these measly binomial theorems with his eyes closed. Even if he wasn't under the tutelage of Sir Reginald Hargreeves before, who expected no less than full marks on every paper they did, he devoured tattered books, even beyond college-level from the half-burnt libraries in the apocalypse, especially since there was nothing else to do to distract him from the hunger and pain of that cursed place. It gave him some semblance of normalcy, just to study and absorb information just like he did in the past. 

He handed in the paper and watched as the teacher's eyes widen as she marked tick after tick. 

"I can't believe it! Never in the history of our school did anyone get full marks! I suggest you send him to an institute for child prodigies where people can fully train his mind." The teacher gasped, her mouth gaping and glasses slipping off her face. 

"That's our Five, we know he's pretty decent at studies but we want him to have a normal childhood, ultimately, it's Five's choice though. Five?" Diego looked expectantly at him. 

"I don't want any recognition or fame, however, I would like to move up a few grades, perhaps grade 9? I don't mind if you give me extra work during class as well." He decided. The teacher nodded with vigor. 

"You'll be going to Lancester High then, it's right beside us. Our principal will inform theirs of the addition to their school." 

The brothers walked out, two of them with a proud grin on their face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, how can one teacher mark for all the subjects?


End file.
